The Entitled Failure
Who or what is the “Entitled Failure” and what damage might they do?
I’ve been studying people for years, in every country I’ve worked in, and there is one peculiar set of people that I find intriguing.
In the intricate web of human interactions—be it in personal relationships, professional environments, or broader societal structures—there exists a peculiar archetype:
The entitled failure.
This is not merely someone who fails, as failure is a universal and often essential component of growth.
Rather, this is a person whose entitlement and arrogance mask their glaring incompetence and inability to succeed, often leaving a trail of dysfunction in their wake.
They present themselves as confident, even charming at times, but beneath the surface lies an unsettling combination of insecurity, deflection, and blame-shifting.
The Veneer of Arrogance
At first glance, the entitled failure can be disarmingly pleasant.
They may adopt the guise of a "nice guy/girl" or project an air of self-assuredness that draws others in.
This facade often serves as a shield against scrutiny.
Their arrogance, though off-putting to some, can be mistaken for competence or leadership by those who fail to dig deeper. In truth, this arrogance is not born of genuine self-belief but rather as an overcompensation for profound inadequacies.
Psychologically, entitlement stems from an inflated sense of deservingness—a belief that one is owed success, admiration, or privilege without having earned it.
This mindset often develops from early life experiences where individuals are excessively praised or shielded from failure.
Over time, they internalise the notion that they are exceptional by default and that rules or standards that apply to others do not apply to them
The Mask of Niceness
One of the most insidious traits of the entitled failure is their ability to weaponise charm and niceness.
They may appear affable and accommodating in superficial interactions, using these traits as tools to disarm criticism or gain favour.
This "nice guy" persona often leads others to give them the benefit of the doubt when their failures become apparent.
After all, how could someone so seemingly kind or well-meaning be truly incompetent? However, this niceness is often performative rather than genuine.
It serves as a means to an end—a way to maintain their position or deflect accountability when things go wrong.
When their failures are exposed or their entitlement challenged, the mask slips, revealing a darker side characterised by anger, defensiveness, and blame-shifting.
Failure in Action
The entitled failure's incompetence manifests in various ways:
In Workplaces: They may secure positions through charm or connections rather than merit. Once in these roles, they often underperform but deflect blame onto colleagues or external circumstances. Their sense of entitlement leads them to demand special treatment—often higher pay, flexible hours, or exemptions from policies—without delivering tangible results.
In Relationships: They may present themselves as caring partners or friends but fail to meet basic expectations of reciprocity and respect. When confronted about their shortcomings, they resort to gaslighting or playing the victim.
In Leadership: If they ascend to positions of authority, their lack of competence can have disastrous consequences for teams or organisations. They may stifle innovation by dismissing ideas that challenge their worldview and create toxic environments through favouritism or condescension
The Explosive Reaction
Perhaps the most telling characteristic of an entitled failure is their reaction when their incompetence is laid bare. Instead of introspection or accountability, they lash out at those who dare to question them.
This reaction stems from what psychologists call "entitlement rage"—a disproportionate anger triggered by unmet expectations or perceived slights.
In these moments, the true nature of their entitlement becomes evident: a fragile ego unable to withstand criticism.
Blame-shifting is another hallmark behaviour.
Rather than accepting responsibility for their failures, they point fingers at colleagues, subordinates, or even systemic issues. This deflection serves two purposes: it protects their self-image and shifts the burden of fixing problems onto others.
The Broader Impact
The presence of entitled failures in any context can be profoundly damaging:
To Teams: Their inability to collaborate effectively erodes trust and morale among colleagues. Their demands for special treatment create resentment and disrupt team dynamics
To Organisations: When such individuals occupy leadership roles, they can stifle growth and innovation while fostering a culture of blame and dysfunction
To Relationships: Friends and partners may find themselves constantly walking on eggshells around them, fearing outbursts or manipulative tactics designed to maintain control
Unmasking the Entitled Failure
Recognising an entitled failure requires looking beyond surface-level charm or confidence.
Key warning signs include:
Inflated Self-Perception: They overestimate their abilities while underestimating others'.
Resistance to Feedback: Constructive criticism is met with defensiveness or hostility.
Chronic Blame-Shifting: Failures are always attributed to external factors.
Performative Niceness: Their kindness feels calculated rather than genuine.
Entitlement Rage: They react disproportionately when denied what they believe they deserve.
Dealing with Entitled Failures
Managing interactions with such individuals can be challenging but not impossible:
Set Boundaries: Clearly define acceptable behavior and enforce consequences for violations.
Document Interactions: In professional settings, keep records of conversations and decisions to hold them accountable.
Avoid Enabling: Resist the temptation to accommodate unreasonable demands simply to avoid conflict.
Encourage Accountability: Frame feedback constructively but firmly emphasize personal responsibility.
In some cases—particularly in workplaces—it may be necessary to part ways with entitled failures whose behaviour proves irredeemable.
A Cautionary Tale
The story of the entitled failure serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of unchecked arrogance and entitlement.
It reminds us that true success requires humility, self-awareness, and a willingness to learn from mistakes—qualities fundamentally at odds with entitlement.
As we navigate our personal and professional lives, let us strive not only to recognise such individuals but also to ensure that we do not fall into similar patterns ourselves.
For in acknowledging our limitations and embracing accountability lies the path to genuine growth and success—a path forever closed to those who remain trapped in the delusion of entitlement.
The entitled failure is not just an individual failing; it is a societal one—a reflection of our collective inability to reward substance over style and merit over mediocrity.
Let us heed this warning before more damage is done.
Let me know what you think - rob@thegrmgroup.com